the meaningless

Dear Madelyn,
When Daddy and I went to Africa a couple of weeks ago, I realized something. As we posted blogs every night on the PCM website (www.pcmonline.org/wordpress) to chronicle our journeys, we wrote and carefully chose pictures that would help us remember our days there. We made note of how we felt, who we saw and what God showed us while we were there. And in this crevice of my heart that I have tried not to acknowledge for months because I thought it should not carry the weight that it did, crept up this longing for recording our days again. Recording the days you and I and Daddy spend together. Recording how I feel, who we see and what God shows us along the way.

Some of the words and even the pictures may seem meaningless from the outside.

Like writing about the way my heart skips half a beat when you push your sweet little feet through the back of our counter height chairs and almost flip it over.

Or how we spend so many days painting. Painting for fun. Painting to learn colors. Painting with brushes or sponges or even q-tips. Painting just because you love it and I love to watch you.

Or making note of the fact that you never want to smile for a picture. Never.

And that in the extremely rare times that you do look at me when the camera is out, your smile is so forced and so fake that I cannot help but laugh.

From the outside, taking time to record these moments might seem meaningless. After a long break and the help of a trip to the other side of the world, I realized that these moments go by too fast. There is no way to remember how some things feel if we don't use words to try to capture that feeling.

The meaningless to some, is a treasure to me.

I love you sweet girl and I look forward to looking back on these words and pictures with you some day.

Love,
Mommy