and baby makes three

Today has not been a good day.

It started off OK. Luke's care broke down in Brownsboro last night while he was trying to pick up a student from school. This morning we went to check on it and prayed that it would start. Instead we ended up calling a tow truck to haul it in to Tyler.

Not the bad part. Even though it was money that we'd loved to have spent elsewhere.

We met the tow man at the shop and left the keys there for them to check it out. To our surprise it was a fairly simple fix with a much lower price tag than we were anticipating.

Still not the bad part.

Got a call that it would be ready soon and that "someone" needing to be thanked (since my dad's friend owns the shop...we knew he meant my dad!) and we could come pick it up.

Definitely not the bad part.

While Madelyn was napping this afternoon, I went in to check on her. Her eyes were wide open so I thought she was awake. I remember vividly saying, "Hi sweet girl...did you sleep well?", as I began to scoop her up. The minute I began to lift her, I knew something was wrong. She was completely limp. Her eyes still wide open and she was not moving. I turned on the light. Tried to stimulate her and couldn't. Her lips were blue. Her eyelids were blue. Her body was ghostly pale and I was completely terrified. I listened for a breath and heard nothing. After tilting her chin back I gave her a puff of air and racked my brain on infant CPR. We watched the video in the NICU before discharge. I had taken the course a few times in the past and in that moment it was so hard to remember. Thankfully she took a small breath and I was able to hold her close after that. She was pale and lethargic ten minutes later when my sister and my friend Ashleigh ( a nurse) got to the house. After about 30-45 minutes, although she was pretty fussy, she was getting back to her normal self.

That was the bad part.

We had turned in the apnea monitor just a few hours before as we asked for it to be discharged on Monday because we weren't needing it anymore. Talk about timing :)

Tomorrow morning we are going to see her Pedi. On Monday he referred us to a pediatric pulmonologist in Dallas. I think he may speed the referral up after what happened today. We are confident that it is still all reflux related. Her reflux has been worse the last several days with her congestion and drainage, but our hearts are still heavy.

Pray for us? Pray for Madelyn's healing?

In these moments it is so hard not to be anxious and fearful. Time and time again we are reminded of the Lord's faithfulness. We are trusting in Him. After all, she is His.