September 24, 2010

Dear Madelyn Kate,
How is it possible that we are already celebrating your first birthday? Time has escaped us so quickly and our baby girl is now entering toddlerhood full speed ahead. I remember the days when I would lay you next to me on our bed and look in to your eyes wondering when you would do something...anything at all. Roll. Coo. Lift your head. Now, the only time you are that still is when you are fast asleep. Even then, you squirm and roll and wiggle in your sleep.

This year has taught me too many things to even try to recount them all, but one of them that glares back at me each time I look at you...is that each passing day should be enjoyed only for what it is. Nothing more. Not the could have beens or what ifs. And at the same time, nothing less. Not downplayed as just an unproductive at the house, but seen as precious time together.

During the week leading up to your birthday I was suddenly bombarded with a flood of emotions. Memories. Vivid replays of this time last year. It made for a challenging week, yet it also reminded me once again just how precious life is. I remembered how low key the day before you were born was. The time that your daddy and I spent together, just the two of us. I remembered being fearful that I would not be a good mother or know how to care for you. I remembered not really being scared about the surgery (I guess I shouldn't have been considering the sheer number of surgeries that I had going in to that one) despite the fact that everyone told me that it would hurt really really bad. And then...I remembered what it felt like the moment I first saw you.

I was in complete awe of our Creator at that very moment. Fascinated that you had grown inside of me, a perfect blend of your father and I, and now we were seeing you face to face. It was nothing short of the most amazing single thing I have witnessed in my lifetime. At 8:00am on September 24, 2009, you entered the world a 6 pound, 11 ounce, 19 inch gift from God.

From there, our journey took us everywhere except where we expected or planned for it to go. At the same time, it made us grow, stretched our faith, taught us about God's provision, the power of prayer and led people to Jesus. We made new friends, strengthened bonds with old ones, relied heavily on family, and took each day for what it was.

Taking in to account the ups and downs of your first year, it's miraculous to me that on the morning of your first birthday, we were able to celebrate with our playful, energetic, happy little girl like nothing has ever happened.

Daddy and I let you open one of your presents to celebrate!
You were pretty much a natural at unwrapping it. You wasted no time at all and dug right in.

The best part was that you loved it!
Grandma did a good job picking it out for you.
After that, you had your birthday breakfast. Actually, it wasn't anything special. Just your usual cereal bar, pears, banana and milk. You looked so precious in your bib, diaper and ballerina shoes. I tried to take them off of you, but you kept reaching to put them back on. Recently you have started to take off your shoes and bows just to turn around and try to put them back on again.
After breakfast and bath we loaded up the car to take some goodies to some very special people. You had on your adorable little "1st Birthday Girl" shirt on from Aunt Marlo. We made some more flower clips for the little girls in the NICU and wanted to deliver them on your birthday along with some yummy cupcakes for the doctors and nurses that cared for you.
It was a special and we wanted them to celebrate too!
It was such a special feeling being back there with you. At first you were a little shy, but it didn't take long for you to warm up to everyone.
Linda was one of the nurses that came to get you when you had to be transferred. You are nearly 15 pounds heavier than you were when she first saw you. They could hardly believe how big you have gotten.
Dr. Morris was there too and you were all smiles for her. She held your hands and you walked around for everyone. You aren't a walker yet, but it's not because you can't. You let go and take a few steps here and there but you seem too afraid to let go all of the time.
It was special in another way too...MeeMaw Fee was able to go with us. I didn't get a picture, but I should have. She prayed for you day and night when you were there. She read every word, looked at every picture and waited for phone updates during your time in the NICU. It was neat to have her there with us on your birthday!
When we left the NICU, we dropped some cupcakes off at your Pediatricians office too. They have been so good to us over the course of this past year and we are so thankful for them!

We couldn't pass up a trip to Toys-R-Us just for the fun of it. Daddy and I didn't really get you much for your birthday. We actually spent less than $10 on you! Ha! We knew that your proud grandparents, aunts and uncles had that part covered. We bout you a $5 set of stuffed fruits and vegetables (we had a heads up on one of your gifts) and some bubbles and bubble wands.
You had fun sword fighting with Daddy though and reaching out for all of the toys. I am sure the days of walking down toy aisles without worrying about you wanting everything are a thing of the past. You are a little girl that knows exactly what she wants!
It's been one year since your presence changed our lives forever and we had a fun day celebrating with you. Happy Birthday Madelyn Kate! I love you with all of my heart.

Love you sweet girl,
Mommy