{give it a shot}

Can I confess? (of course, Kathryn, it's your blog!) I have really, I mean reeeeaaaaalllllyyyyyy, dreaded today's doctor's visit for a number of reasons:

1. 2 month check up = lots of shots
2. lots of shots = my baby girl gets poked lots of times
3. or does she? lots of shots = lots of decisions*
4. we were going to find out if Madelyn had any true apnea episodes
   
   *I am a worrier by nature. I have been able to conquer this in mighty ways as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, but for some reason I have had a strong feeling that I just could not shake no matter how hard I tried about looking in to what the best way to get Madelyn vaccinated is. Considering there are almost 3 times as many shots given as there were when I was vaccinated, I had some reservations about doing so many at once on this little one. I'd like to say I completely trust that it's not a bad thing at all, in any way, for such a small one to get so many things injected in them at once, but for some reason I don't. I don't really have good reasons, or medically proven research to back up my fears, I just had that pit of your stomach feeling that I needed to look into it more and concerns about how many more shots are given today versus 20 years ago. I know this is due to breakthroughs and such, just interesting to me. I know, call me crazy, but I was concerned about it. So I asked the doctor. Even though our pediatrician's office does offer a delayed vaccination schedule which spaces them out, after our conversation about the vaccinations I felt better about it. Dr. A said that his kids were all vaccinated on the normal schedule ((like 90% of kids in America)) so that was enough to calm most of my worries. Needless to say our lots of decisions that we made did lead to lots of shots. And I feel good about it and a little lot silly that I actually stressed about this so much. She even handled the shots like a champ. She cried for all of 30 seconds and a few minutes later was ready for pictures with her mommy...
   As for the apnea, Madelyn only had one true apnea event on the reading from October 29th. This was the night we were almost certain she had one. They can tell it is a true "event" when the low respirations are joined with low heart rate or bradicardia. My tummy got all rumbly when it was confirmed. Dr. A then said, "Now that we know this happened there are some questions. Was this reflux induced? Could it possibly have been a SIDS event? Most importantly, would she have started to breath again on her own had she not been stimulated?" The worst part about all the questions, is that there was no way to answer them. Need I remind you I am a recovering worrier? However, the week after this event is when we really noticed that her medicine seemed to be working. We do know that she has been apnea free for 3 weeks now. She is healthy. Thriving. If you met Madelyn today, you would not think she had such a hard start in life. Ultimately we all made the decision that it was time to come off of the monitor. There has not been one morning, day or night that I have not prayed that Madelyn's chest would continue to rise and fall as it should. We are confident that she has successfully cleared this hurdle in her journey. So here we are, monitor free!
   
   Other than that, we found out that Madelyn is growing, growing, growing. She is...drum roll please...10 pounds 13 ounces(50%) and 22 3/4 inches long(70%)! The doctor had no concerns about whether or not she was getting the nutrition that she needs. Ha!
   
   This afternoon the little peanut had a little bit of a fever from the shots. She was pretty pitiful and just lounged around for most of the day. Once she woke up this evening, she was bright eyed and playful...
   

When I look at this picture...

I laugh thinking about how I can vividly remember hiding pacis between my bed and the wall when I was little. Yes, I remember. Yes, when you get to the age where you actually can recall your memories you are probably too old to have a paci. Oh, the things I put my mother through. I have a lot to look forward to!

So I promised you a Turkey Day shirt tutorial. Then I found this one that is absolutely awesome! Just click here to see it! This tutorial says it better than I ever could! All you have to do to add the ribbon for the Turkey feathers is sew them to the shirt prior to placing the fabric down with the Steam a Seam. You will know what I am talking about after you look at the tutorial! Just give it a shot!

As for the tutu tutorial...I will post that later today!

8 Weeks

8 Weeks
56 Days
1,344 Hours
80,640 Minutes
of
Life. Breath. Joy.

and

many

more

to

come.

Oh how I look forward to the "many more to come". I am in awe of how much she has grown. Every day seems to bring something new. Another smile. A new sound. Grabbing for new things. Is it possible that the first few weeks of her life seemed to crawl by? The days feeling as though they would never end? As if I would never get to bring my baby home? Now they seem to be a blur they go by so fast. How is that so?

Tomorrow morning Madelyn has the big "2 month check up"! I am not looking forward to her shots. I think it might just be harder for me than it will be for her. I am excited that she will more than likely get the discharge from the apnea monitor. She has gone several weeks without any type of episode so Luke and I have been using it less and less in preparation for it being taken away (especially during awake hours because of the yucky rash the belt gave her). I thought I would be a nervous wreck without her on it. God has protected my thoughts and constantly reminded me of His presence. If she is content in her swing, I am no longer scared to go get a drink or go to the bathroom. I have realized that those gut feelings you get as a mom are usually right. Thank goodness for guts.

Disclaimer RE above photos. Yes that is a BIG bow. Yes it was given to Madelyn by sweet friends for the future. Yes it was put on her head in the present. It went with the boots. That's my story and I am sticking to it (despite the fact that it appears her head is on the lean to the ahem big bow side). Sigh. It matched. What was I supposed to do? It was only worn for about 5 minutes. YIKES. Sorry Madelyn. Mommy promises to reserve this bow only for the future.

Except for the time she was awake and hamming it up for the camera, Madelyn slept a LOT last night and today. She slept in the Nap Nanny all night long (and only woke up to feed 2 times between 11pm and 7am)! Then she snoozed more than usual the rest of the day. Being 8 weeks old is hard to do, but some body's got to do it.

This afternoon while my (amazing, wonderful, hunk of a man) hubby watched the rug rat, my mom and I went to the preview night of the Gresham Barn Sale- Christmas in the Country Style. Mom and I are always up for all things Christmas. It's how we roll. Ha. We got some neat one-of-a-kind finds (of which I will show you soon). Not to mention had fun looking at all things Christmas they had on display. New and old. Manufactured and handmade. It's a whimsical little shopping experience. If you are in the Tyler area you should definitely check it out. They are open Friday & Saturday too!

I just have to say, I have loved Luke for many years now. He has stolen my heart. BUT on the day we became one, there was nothing that would have prepared me for how much that love would continue to increase. I love him more each day. I love watching him in his new role as Dad to Madelyn Kate. No surprise here, he is simply amazing at it. Best friend. Dreamy husband. Amazing Dad. I am blessed. Madelyn is blessed.

The minute Luke and I found out we were expecting I thought, "I need a video camera". They are so pricey and everyone seems to be griping about theirs. So many (over priced) choices. If you ask your friends, most regret the choice they made. Luke kept telling me we needed to get a Flip video camera. I thought being the tech savvy man that he is, he just wanted it because it was the latest. I had my serious doubts about it...even on the day we gave in and purchased one. I have to say...he was right. It's awesome. Perfect for capturing our little peanut. I would venture to say it's a must have. Easy to use. Easy to download. Easy to share. Speaking of sharing...





My World Traveler of a sister, whom I have not seen in SIX MONTHS comes home on Monday. I cannot wait to see her. I cannot wait to introduce her to Madelyn. Did I mention she has been gone for SIX MONTHS? To make it even more special, Madelyn's Great Grandma is also flying in on Monday. This Thanksgiving will be so special. We have so much for which we can give thanks.

Oh, and I have decided, based on the super sweet emails and kind comments on the last post to do a Turkey Day shirt tutorial post as well as a tutu-how-tu (yikes. that cheesiness surprised me too). I do have to warn you that I am no seamstress and that I just did my best based on a picture of a shirt that I wanted to try to make. Anyways, be looking for those by Saturday.

tutus, TX trash & turkeys

Madelyn is starting to settle into a routine-ish. I think she officially has her days and nights sorted out (that is until she decodes what I am typing and decides to be a tricky little girl). No, but seriously she seems to have that down. Check that off the to-do list. She has also been taking pretty regular naps. Like this one...

While this little one is snoozing during her nap times over the last two days I have had time to do the laundry, tackle the thank-you notes, and put away all the stuff that has not found a home yet do some fun crafty projects.

Project #1: Matching Christmas tutus for the cousins. Here is Madelyn's...
These are super easy to make and I am sure they will make for some great pictures of all the girls! Marlo, we need to schedule a photo shoot :)

Project #2: Homemade Texas Trash-ish. Ever since (like it's been a long time-try 5 days ago) Mom and I went to Mistletoe and Magic and purchased our 3oz. bags of Texas Trash, I have been wanting to try to make my own.

9	cups Rice Chex
1	cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2	cup peanut butter
1/4	cup butter or margarine
1	teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2	cups powdered sugar

First I microwaved the chocolate chips, peanut butter & butter until it stirred smooth (approx. 1 min. 30 sec.).

Then I poured that over the chex cereal in a large bowl and stirred.

Next I dumped all of that into a big ziploc bag and poured the powdered sugar in...

and shook.

Finally I spread it all out on wax paper covered cookie sheets to cool.

Not quite as good as Susie's South Forty's Texas Trash, but not bad for a recipe on the back of the cereal box!! It is so yummy! Next time I am going to try it with white chocolate!

Project #3: Thanksgiving onesie for Madelyn. I decided since I have already jumped ahead to making Christmas outfits for Madelyn, I should at least make something cute for her to wear on Turkey Day...

I got the idea to make one of these for Madelyn from Etsy.com. I still need to add little buttons for eyes, but you get the idea. I think she will look super cute on her first Thanksgiving!

Then the little one wakes up and it's time to play...

Tonight we went over to my Mom and Dad's for our weekly Wednesday night hang out time over there. My mom took this picture of Madelyn asleep in my arms...I love it because of how chubby her face looks and how she has her sweet little lips!
She loves good cuddle time with Grandma, that's for sure.Tomorrow Madelyn is 8 weeks old. Wow.

I love my life.

Enough said.

later you will understand

I was reading from John 13 where Jesus washed the disciples feet this morning as I snuggled Madelyn close to me. I have read that scripture more times than I can remember.

After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

That last sentence was as far as I got.

You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.

Then I remembered this. The letter I wrote to Madelyn the day before she was born and this paragraph in particular:

"I am in awe of the possibilities your future holds. I know that you are here, not by chance, but because God has a purpose for your life. Although I cannot wait to witness what your personality will blossom in to, what your little voice will sound like and who you will become, I know without a doubt that I want to cherish each day for it's own."

You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.

Then I remembered this. Watching this tiny life that grew inside of me struggling to breath.
You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.

And then I remembered this. Comment #31 from Maddie's 1 Week Birthday Post.

"Madelyn, I found out about you through a friend of a friend of a cousin of your mommys. I clicked the link they posted on their facebook out of curiousity. I was up late and could not sleep. Once I laid eyes on your sweet little face, the beautiful words your mommy writes about you and the struggle you have had this past week I felt the overwhelming presence of a higher power for the first time in my life. I could not stop reading about you. I finally started over at the beginning of your mommy's blog. I read about how much they were waiting anxiously for you to arrive. The love they have for each other. The raw emotions that they felt when you entered this world and then through your fight to survive. I laughed. I cried. I reflected on my own life and the joy that I experienced when my own children entered the world. I tried to go to sleep after reading for hours your story. I could not. Something inside of me would not let me. My son woke up at about 2 am and came to get me. I thought he was going to ask for water or to sleep in my bed. Instead he said he felt like Jesus was telling him that I needed a hug. We don't attend church and never have. For my son to speak of Jesus at 2am was something that could have only meant one thing, God was trying to tell me something. I put my son back to bed. Fell to my knees and begged God to forgive me of my sins. I did not know even how to talk to him. I just know that there are so many things in my life that have to change and this morning I woke up feeling burdenless. I want my sons to know what it is like to have parents who love each other as much as yours. I know now that is only possible with God. You have led me to God. Thank you little one. May you live a long life at your parents side. Love, Marissa in New York"

You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.

Then this afternoon I looked upon this little one sleeping sweetly, breathing deeply, and thanked God that His ways are not my ways."For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
-Isaiah 55: 8

Lord, I am beginning to understand.