thumb sucking princess

Since we have been home we have started to discover some of Madelyn's favorite things. Most recently, her thumb.She discovered this favorite all on her own. I guess this means we have a thumb sucking princess on our hands.
No one ever told me a thumb sucking newborn was so cute. Maybe that's because there has never been a cuter thumb sucking newborn.
She sleeps in the cutest little positions. Basically...she is just cute.
We let Madelyn have a little bare baby body time to air out her rash from her monitor strap ((definitely not from being bundled too tight by this overly cautious first time mom)). We still covered up those precious little toes with some of the most adorable little booties I have ever seen and one of her hats.
Emily and her entourage stopped by tonight on the way to the football game to get a peek at the baby cousin. She wanted to hold Madelyn so bad..."She stinks Kathryn. Do you have any more diapers, because her bottom really stinks??"
I have a hard time believing that Emily is old enough to be holding a baby. I have hard time believing that I am old enough to have a baby that my niece is old enough to hold. Where does time go??
Emily dropped off her baby sister for the evening and left her here with us. She had a blast hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa. You have never seen a child smile more than Allison. To top it off, you have never seen a child with a cuter smile. This little 13 month old exudes joy.
Well, I would love to tell you that last night we got some rest. That Madelyn only woke up to eat. That I only woke up to feed her. Unfortunately, Madelyn had a rough night with her reflux. I think she cried more last night than she has in the first 4 weeks of her life combined. I have decided the worst torture for a mom is to have a hurting baby that you can't seem to do anything to help. It was miserable. The good news is...today was so much better.

We are praying for some rest from the reflux for our little beauty.

*Kathryn

4 weeks

This morning we headed to the doctor for Madelyn's follow up visit from her discharge from the hospital. I know Madelyn is a good eater...trust me I know...but I was still super excited when she weighed in at 7 lbs. 12.5 oz.!! Despite her reflux, she has continued to gain weight (at a pretty fast rate) and for that we are so excited!
We also discussed possible options for how to treat Madelyn's reflux if the Zantac does not help in the next week or so. Her pediatrician had the results from the pH probe. They showed that Madelyn had episodes of reflux every 4 to 6 minutes during the 24 hour test that they did while we were in the hospital. This broke my heart. The poor girl is hurting all the time. Hopefully the Zantac will help, but if not, at least we have a game plan for what we will try next.

Luke took us to the doctor this morning and before he headed back in to the office he gave his pretty little lady some Eskimo kisses...
I am happy to report that in addition to loving on Madelyn, Luke is fulfilling his promise and Daddy duties by changing *lots of diapers.

*By lots I mean more than the 1 or 2 that I expected from him :)
I have been super anxious to try out my baby wearing sling but also super nervous because of Madelyn's breathing problems. Today we gave it a shot...
It only lasted about 5 minutes while Madelyn was unhooked from her monitor to allow her rash to clear up a little. But it was SO fun. I cannot wait to carry her around like this!

I like to look at this picture and pretend Madelyn had the giggles. When I took this I had been making lots of silly faces at Madelyn...so technically she possibly had the giggles...just minus the giggling part.
Today Madelyn Kate, our pretty little lady, is 4 weeks old!!!
Happy 4 weeks Madelyn! We love you and are so blessed to have you in our lives. As of tomorrow, you will have officially spent more days out of the hospital than in the hospital. That is exciting!

Last night we had some rain around here. A lot of rain in fact. You know what that means. If you don't know what that means I will tell you.

Rain = wet ground.
Wet ground = more water on the bottom floor of our house.
More water on the bottom floor of our house = more time at Grandma & Grandpa's house.

It looks like it will be a few more days before we go home as we wait for the cleaning crew to come back in and dry it out again. For now Madelyn is content getting to spend time with her Grandma and Grandpa. I am pretty sure they are loving getting to spend time with her too.

*Kathryn

{a prayer journey}

Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity – a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother. ~Rose Kennedy

It's just shy of 3:30am and the rest that I hoped to get while Maddie was sleeping has yet to happen. It's not because she is not sleeping, she has proven to be such a good sleeper these last few nights. It's not even because her apnea alarm keeps sounding, although despite hopes the new one would not, it does. Sometimes I feel as though when I cannot sleep, these are the moments when God stirs my heart to pray. Too often I allow the distractions of my day to keep me from time with Him...so He wakes me. These moments have been especially tender since that Sunday in February when I found out we were expecting. Those first few weeks, praying that this life inside of me would continue to grow. That it would thrive. Having already experienced an early loss in our first year of marriage as so many women do, those nights were filled with prayers of thanksgiving that we were pregnant and prayers of desperation that we would not experience that loss again.

In the weeks to come, there were prayers for energy and a break from the constant morning, noon and night sickness that I was experiencing. Prayers that I would remain healthy so that the little one that depended on me could remain healthy as well.

When I first experienced abnormal bleeding, those were the nights that Romans 8:26 came to life for me. When I did not have the words to pray, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." When the fear was too much for me and the words were not there, still the Spirit that is in me cried out to Him.

Then there was the excitement of knowing that the "it" that was inside of me, was a girl- a little lady at that. My prayers were for her protection. Prayers that she would be shielded from harm, that although we would not be able to keep her from all the evil this world can offer, that He would be her protector.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was burdened to pray that her life would count for something in a big way. That she would be used by God. I prayed that Luke and I would be able to lead her to Him, so that she may then lead others. That throughout her life she would passionately pursue Him in a way that her actions led others to a relationship with Jesus.
When the bleeding persisted, my heart was so heavy. All I could do was ask God for His will to be done. That if it was His will for this little one to be with Him so soon, that He would protect my heart. I was so afraid to become attached, but I already was. We knew her name would be Madelyn Kate. We prayed for her by name. I begged God to keep her safe inside of me. We prayed that she would stay put for each milestone the doctor set before us...32 weeks...34 weeks...36 weeks...and ultimately 37 weeks and 1 day!

As the day of her arrival drew closer, there were so many prayers for her future. Prayers that she would see Jesus in us. Prayers that she would have a sweet disposition...that she would be healthy...that she would not hate us too bad when she hit middle school...that she might not cry too much...prayers that we would be able to be the parents she needs us to be. I prayed for her future husband (who may just be asleep in his crib at my dear friend Jenna's house-just saying). Prayers that God is stirring his parents to pray for him, the way He has stirred us to pray for Madelyn.

The night before she was born, I know I talked to God. I don't even remember thinking about whether she would be healthy. I just remember sheer joy and excitement, praising Him that we made it this far.

Then the night of September 24th...praying for her lungs. The next day, praising Him for her progress. Then the questions of why she was continuing to struggle. Asking Jehovah Rophe, the Lord that heals, to heal her body.Tuesday, September 29th, the day Madelyn stopped breathing for unexplained reasons and the nights that followed were like those nights early on in my pregnancy...nights when I had no words...when the spirit interceded on my behalf...when YOU interceded on our behalf...when family, friends, churches, MOPS groups, prayer warriors in South Africa, those that had seen Madelyn's story on facebook, a stranger in New York who had never really prayed before and so many others stood in the gap for us and lifted up our baby girl when we were at a loss for what to say.

Since then, there have been so many prayers of praise and thanksgiving. Endless gratitude that she is with us...Tonight as I am wide awake, my heart stirred to pray for our little one, I am reminded of the quote at the top of this post. It was on the outside of a card from some sweet church friends...

Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity – a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother. ~Rose Kennedy

Wow! I have found myself praying that the story of our little miracle baby is not the end of Madelyn's story and influence, just the beginning. That in the sleepless nights to come, this quote will continue to resonate deep within me as a reminder that how we choose to handle this gift of life...our actions...all of them...could influence so many to come. My prayer is that we do not take that lightly. What a "very challenging and exciting thought for a mother"!

*Kathryn

{wonderfully made}

First things first...this little girl is exclusively a Pampers girl these days...until the next mess and then we will more than likely blame it on the Pampers...and then what?? We couldn't possibly take responsibility for the mess now, could we? Until then...she is a Pampers girl!

Madelyn got a new apnea monitor today. Nothing was technically wrong with the old one (except that it went off every 5 minutes last night despite the fact that nothing was wrong with Madelyn) but the insurance company was able to locate one that was in network so they had us switch. The new one is awesome! There have been no false alarms yet. The main reason is due to the fact that the high heart rate alarm was set WAY too low on the other alarm. Every time she would think about crying it would go off. That meant that every diaper change was met with endless alarms. Needless to say, I am so excited about this one tonight. Madelyn slept so well last night! I did not get to because of the alarm so I am hoping to sleep during the 2 hour stretches that Madelyn slept last night!

{For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well} Psalm 139: 13-14

He made these tiny toes and this adorable little birthmark on her right foot...

these precious little fingers...

and this sweet little ear.

He made them all according to His perfect design.
She is fearfully made. His works are wonderful.
I know that full well!

This is the only little bow we brought with us to Grandma and Grandpa's house so it is getting LOTS of wear! We may go home tomorrow...so Madelyn might get to try out some more of those bows. She sure makes them look so cute!

Check out this face...
I was trying to get pics of all that hair sticking up on her head, and Madelyn pursed her lips and lowered her eye brows as if to tell me to leave her alone. She is even cute when she is mad!
Tummy time was a lot more successful today. There was no screaming. There were no tears. Madelyn actually seemed to enjoy herself!! Hopefully from now on I won't feel like I am putting her through baby boot camp when we hang out on the floor. I guess only time will tell on that one.
I could just sit like this all day watching her. For the last few days...I pretty much have just been sitting and watching her. Actually that's pretty much what we have done for almost 4 weeks now! It is so hard to leave the room, even with the apnea monitor on, when it is just the two of us. It makes showering and going to the bathroom a little complicated...I have no idea how moms of multiples accomplish anything at first!
Sometimes while Madelyn is napping I go through and watch some of the videos that we have taken of her so far. They are so much fun to watch. This little clip is from today after Madelyn got a bath. She had the sneezes and I caught a few on video...

How cute is that?? I may post another video a little later. For now this will have to do. Our girl is hungry...AGAIN :)

*Kathryn

blame it on the diaper...take 2

Today has been one of those days. The kind where I have reflected so much that if I wrote about it tonight, it would be long, emotional and more than likely draining on all who would read it. So I will keep it short and sweet tonight. Or at least I will try!

Madelyn is such a trooper. She really is a tough little girl. I am confident that if I had the reflux problems that she has I would cry...often. She does get a little fussy and pretty restless when her reflux is flaring up, but she does not cry and once it passes she is back to her happy little self.

I am sad to report that our little bundle of joy decided to teach her mommy a lesson today. Apparently you should wait at least 24 hours before making fun of husbands who have been pooped on due to their inability to put a diaper on correctly (I guess you really should not make fun of them at all...but then what fun would that be??). Had I followed that rule, I would not have to admit that I was not pooped on just once today, but twice. She sure is a tricky little thing! And after having used both Huggies and Pampers, I too will blame it on the diaper :)

Due to all of Madelyn's respiratory problems we have strictly followed the NICU doctor's advice to keep Madelyn's visitors to a bare minimum and to keep her at home as long as possible! Today was a treat (and an exception) as one of Madelyn's many sets of adoptive grandparents were in town and stopped by. Mawmaw and Pawpaw (aka Judy & Rex) came to get a glimpse of our little one...They are so special to us. They have been so supportive of Luke and I as a young couple while we were dating, celebrated with us when we became engaged, shared in the joy of our wedding and have stood by our sides with Madelyn! We have such an amazing support system and are so blessed that they are a part of that system!
We can't wait until Madelyn gets to go visit these two and their sweet family! We know that she will have tons of fun at Mawmaw and Pawpaw's house!
Madelyn is so fortunate that she will be surrounded by so many whose faith in the Lord is strong, commitment to Him deep and because of that their devotion to each other is steadfast. We have experienced that devotion by SO many...our amazing families...friends...church family...friends of friends and even strangers. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

*Kathryn

Ok...so it was not short and sweet as I promised...what can I say??

Blame it on the Huggies

Madelyn loves the new swing that Grandma bought her. More specifically, Madelyn loves to sleep in the swing that Grandma bought her. Mommy loves the swing that Grandma bought Madelyn. More specifically, Mommy loves to sleep while Madelyn sleeps in the swing that Grandma bought her.
I know what you are thinking. The above picture does not provide evidence of how much Madelyn loves to sleep in her swing. The fact that I am awake enough right now to write this blog is all the evidence that you need.


As a result of all that sleeping this little girl did this morning...she was wide eyed and ready to play this afternoon. She was wide awake for almost 5 hours this afternoon!!!
I took the opportunity to take pics of the pretty little lady with her eyes open! It is so fun now that she is able to make eye contact and really follow you around...We had our first go at "tummy time" this afternoon. Madelyn was completely uninterested. She folded her arms up under her head and relaxed. There was no exercising of the neck muscles for our little girl. After about 10 minutes of "tummy time" I turned her over for more "paparazzi picture taking time". ((Random interjection...my sister-in-law subscribes to the "Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks" and I fear that some day my blogs will end up on there...oh well!))
I say this every day so I don't want to let anyone down and fail to mention it again today...Madelyn is growing so much each day. Her little face is changing all the time. Tonight she was still just as alert and spunky as every. She likes to play tricks on us. I personally think this is her best trick yet. Check out Luke's pants underneath her little hiney...Just in case you are having a hard time seeing, here is a close up...She sure is a little trickster! Yes, that is what you think it is. Yes, Luke did put that diaper on himself. Yes, the is that you think that is did relocate itself outside of the diaper that Luke put on Madelyn onto Luke's jeans. So, what's a father to do?? "You have got to buy some Pampers, Kathryn...I hate these Huggies!" Blame it on the diaper of course!! Ha :) I am still laughing.

Madelyn is still having reflux troubles and it makes us all so sad to watch. I wish I could do something more to help her. Other than that, she is doing well. All the 5,468 alarms that have sounded since we left the hospital on Thursday seem to be false. Praise the Lord! We took another walk around the block today...2 in fact. It is so nice outside...especially considering I have not seen much daylight since August 14...the day I was put on bed rest! We are so thankful for another good day, a beautiful little girl and having the opportunity to enjoy this life we have been given!

*Kathryn

A walk around the block...

Madelyn is doing well! All the alarms from the apnea monitor seem to still be false! Phew! She had a sort of rough night last night. So did mommy. Her reflux seemed to be in full force. She spit up quite a bit and neither of us really slept much until about 5am. We are both very thankful for Grandma. Thanks to Luke and Grandma, I have been able to take 2 much needed naps today. Hopefully tonight holds a little sleep and a lot less discomfort for Madelyn.

She is chunking up more and more each day. I love her cheeks. Both sets are pretty darn cute :)

It seems so strange to sit at home on a Sunday morning. Madelyn cannot wait to meet her church family at West Lake. The downside of being born in the fall with respiratory problems the year a new strain of the flu is spreading like crazy, is having to wait to make your big debut!!

This afternoon my mom asked Madelyn if she was ready to go for a walk...This is the "do I really have a choice" face she made. Little girls must come out of the womb rolling their eyes these days. I have no idea where she got this from. I most certainly never rolled my eyes at my mom. Right, Mom?

Madelyn seemed to enjoy our walk. She slept the entire time. Her apnea alarm went off so many times that I think the neighborhood thought their fire alarms were going off (it really is THAT loud). They were all running outside to see what was going on. Ok, actually they weren't running outside...but it would have been funny if they were. Hopefully the monitor's false alarms did not disturb anyone's Sunday afternoons. It was so great to be outside and enjoy the fresh air and beautiful fall weather. We may just have to do this again tomorrow.

*Kathryn

day 24

While I was pregnant, Luke and I had SO many conversations about how once Madelyn arrived our life would "never be the same again". There were so many things about our life pre-Madelyn that I was SURE were going to change. While our life definitely will never be the same again, there are some things that aren't exactly as I thought they would be. Madelyn is such a sweet girl. I don't want to say that she is an easy baby...unless you consider needing to spend 15 out of the first 24 days of your life in the hospital easy...but she is a really good baby. I anticipated chaos once we came home from the hospital. I guess I should have anticipated chaos while we were at the hospital. Madelyn is so mellow. She loves to cuddle. Despite her reflux, rarely cries. She lets us know when she is hungry or needs to be changed, but other than that when she is awake she is happy...when she is eating she is happy...and when she is asleep she is happy. Our days at home (well not OUR home as we have not been able to return there yet from the flooding-but away from the hospital at least) have been slow paced and as I have said before, rather uneventful! It's been peaceful and relaxed. A far cry from the uncontrollable tears (hers and mine) and moments of frustration that I anticipated. Isn't it funny how we think we prepare ourselves for "the worst" and then in the face of reality "the worst" we prepared ourselves for didn't even come close to being "the worst". *I realize that was probably a run on sentence and that this whole paragraph will quite possibly make no sense to anyone but me, so I will move on now*

Today we watched the OU vs. TX game. Madelyn learned a new word today...turnover.Despite their youngest fan cheering them on with her mommy and daddy the Sooners couldn't pull it off...Madelyn didn't seem to care. Life went on as usual for her after the game. Eat, sleep, poop...repeat.
Madelyn loves sleeping in her daddy's arms! She couldn't stay awake for the whole game, but she cheered in her sleep.
Just in case you were wondering...our photo shoot of our family of 3 proudly sporting our Sooner gear with smiles on our faces came while OU was ahead. We aren't the "it ruins your day when your team loses" type so we probably would have been smiling just as big after the game. I just needed to clarify for those of you who might be the "it ruins your day when your team loses" type.

Madelyn has been doing really well. Her LOUD apnea monitor has gone off several times but all seem to be false alarms. We were told that would happen. She is still eating really well. She loves to have her clothes changed...we know this because she makes a mess of them just so she can have a new outfit put on. She had a bath tonight and seemed to love the water. She did not however like being cold. Her reflux medicine must taste pretty bad because she makes these little crinkled nose faces every time I give it to her. It's so sad watching her deal with the reflux, but she is a tough little one and handles it so well. Thank you for continuing to pray for her. Your prayers are felt in the most intimate way.

Today my oldest niece had a soccer game. Last season (her first season to play) I coached her little team. They are pretty much the cutest little girls you have ever seen. Emily scored a goal today and it made me miss being her coach and running around on the field with all the little Ladybugs! There is nothing funnier than watching little ones try to figure out which direction they are supposed to go...I miss it for sure. Way to go Emmy!

This video is from the first time we came home from the hospital. There isn't really any sound to listen for but I thought it was super cute. It's from the first time Emily held Madelyn. Check out the smile on that proud cousin's face...


*Kathryn