A Birthday Note for the Birthday Girl

Dear Madelyn,
Happy 1 week birthday to you, sweet girl! I am sitting by your side at this very moment. Your daddy is in the chair next to us, resting his eyes. He has kept them on you nonstop...you are his favorite thing to look at.

This week, the first week of your life, has been one filled with every emotion that I have ever experienced in my life. I will never forget hearing your first cries. Your daddy and I joked that you had some pipes on you because they were the loudest little newborn cries I have ever heard. Then, the moment I waited 9 months for...the doctors held you up over the curtain in the operating room and I laid eyes on you for the very first time. You looked so beautiful. Chunky cheeks. Dark hair. The cutest button nose I have ever seen. Your daddy rushed over to get video and pictures of all you firsts...being washed off, weighed and measured. They called out, "Six pounds, eleven ounces! 19 inches long". Your daddy called it out again to make sure I heard them! It seemed like time was standing still. Then the nurse brought you over to me. She said that you were having a little trouble breathing so they were going to take you back to the special care nursery. They told me that I could go see you when I was able to move my legs and that it would probably be around 7 or 8pm. Who were they kidding?? It was obvious that they don't know your mommy. I went to see you just after 11am!! By mid afternoon I was walking myself down to see you. One of the nurses even stopped me to ask what I needed or where I was going. She didn't realize I was a patient because I was walking so well. The truth is...that is how bad I wanted to see your sweet face, hold your little hand, and whisper in your ear. You are loved. The days and nights that followed were filled with tears of joy and sadness, excitement and worry, prayers, picture taking and doting over you. Your breathing would get better. Then it would get worse. There were moments that your daddy and I could do nothing but sit in silence as we watched your little body struggle with every breath you took. All of your family anxiously waited to see you for the first time. They peaked through a tiny nursery window crack to get even the smallest glimpse of you. So many sweet friends sent you flowers, brought you gifts, and prayed for you. And then there were the complete strangers that did the same. You are loved.

Most of the days have started to blend together. There is one that has not. The day that you stopped breathing. The day that our faith was tested, your lungs tired out and you were transferred to the NICU at Trinity Mother Frances. I remember rushing to your nursery...and seeing you stop breathing...again. My legs gave out from under me. The next hour was filled with working out the details of getting you the care you needed. Then the team arrived to transfer you. They loaded you up in this mobile NICU...
It was so painful to see you placed inside that little box. I walked with you as they loaded you in the ambulance. They let me ride in the front seat since it was just across the street. Your daddy met me at the ambulance and we had to go around to the front entrance of the hospital. We ran. By the time we got up to the unit, you had not even made it up there yet. They began working on you right away once you arrived. You were crying so loud. Then the crying would stop and so would your breathing. Your dad and I were standing over you trying to stimulate you so that you would begin breathing again. Finally they had to put you on the ventilator. You were so tired at first that it did all the breathing for you.

After a day of tests and waiting, there were still no answers as to what exactly was causing your apnea. It was such a relief to know some of the major options were ruled out...yet scary that you were still struggling and we did not know why. Yesterday you had such a wonderful day of rest on the ventilator. You would breath over it at times and others just let it do the work for you. The doctor told us yesterday evening that today we might try you off of the ventilator. Apparently you thought that was a good idea because you pulled your tube out at about 5:30am. They immediately put a nasal cannula on you at 35% oxygen. When we first heard you breathing after you extubated yourself, there was so much fluid in your airways that you sounded like it was hard to breath. I think I held my breath for the next hour. Within a matter of hours though you were on room air through the cannula. By 8:30am you were acting a little fussy. I got to hold you in my arms for the first time in 2 days! You stopped crying immediately when you were in my arms. Throughout the day you have done so well. Your respiration's have been steady for the most part and you have maintained your oxygen saturation.
You looked so cute holding your little buddy they gave you. It was such a beautiful sight to see your head free from IVs and chords for the first time ever. Your daddy got to change your diaper this afternoon. Your nurse chuckled. Just a little bit later your tiny bottom was hanging out. At least he tried!
Your Uncle Jarrod came by and was wearing your special color. I had to get a picture of the two of you together. He looks pretty handsome in purple...but not quite as cute as you! All of your fans have stopped by and spent time with you today. They have loved on you, kissed your sweet forehead and held your hand. Have I reminded you that you are loved??
I was able to hold you again tonight. When we go home, I don't think I will ever lay you down!! Your daddy and I love you in ways that we never knew we could. You have changed our world.

*Happy 1 Week Birthday Madelyn Kate*

Love,
Mommy

Madelyn has had 4 feedings today through a tube down her throat and has done very well so far. When she stopped breathing before she had started eating just 24 hours before that. The doctor is watching closely to see if there is a correlation between the two. We are praying there is not. Only time will tell. She is breathing great!! Please keep praying!

Luke and I have been so blessed by ALL the sweet messages, emails, cards, flowers, gifts, food! We read every comment, email and facebook message!! I wanted some way to collect all these sweet messages for Madelyn. So if you read this, please leave her a message. We will print them and put them in her baby book. We know that there are so many faithful prayer warriors, those that little Madelyn's life has touched, and those that we know who have read about her journey. We are asking that anyone and everyone who is reading leave her a comment on this post for us to share with her later in life. It is such an amazing work of God to have her life touch so many...her story be told...her creator glorified through the work he has done in her!!! Let us hear from you...