Little girl...you ARE loved!

My heart is so full right now. I cannot even begin to put into words what is swirling around in this head of mine, but I will try.

As I was laying in bed this afternoon, recounting the events of the last few weeks and months, I felt Madelyn moving around from side to side and up and down. I put my hand on my belly (this is where I usually play "guess the body part" as she squirms around) to feel our little girl as she moved. Most of the time she continues to move even after I put my hands there to feel her...she only gets "stage fright" as her daddy calls it when someone else tries to feel. But today was different. Instantly when I put my hand on my belly she stopped. Suddenly I felt this little push right at the palm of my hand. It was as if she was reaching out to me...like she and I were holding hands (I am sure it was her tiny butt just getting comfy but even still). My eyes filled up with tears. I pressed my hand against this part that was pressing on my palm and moved my hand down a little. She followed. It was the most amazing moment...I was so overwhelmed by the thought that she knew it was me...she knew it was her mommy.

There have been so many moments since February 8th (the day we found out we were pregnant) that I wondered if we would ever make it to this day. I wondered if the issues that I had been having would keep us from reaching this point. Today as I thought about all those moments, while she wiggled around inside of me, it was as if she reached out her hand to reassure me. God used that moment, shared just between the 2 of us, to tell me that after all the ups and downs of these last 8 months, this little girl is soon to be in our arms...ours forever.

This afternoon we gathered together with family and friends that are family to celebrate again the upcoming arrival of Madelyn. As I sat in that room...full of people, full of food, full of presents...I realized it was full of something much more than that. It was full of love. Love for this unborn child. It is evident. It is real. You are loved. You are loved by your Daddy and I. You are loved by your Grandparents, Great Grandmas, Aunts and Uncles. You are loved by your "adoptive" grandparents (of which you have about 20 who would claim you) and you are loved by friends. You are loved by God. Little girl...you are loved!

Here are some of the pictures from today! I know that there are a lot, but hey, I could have posted many more!
I can't believe we are about to be parents!?
You probably can't believe we are about to be parents either after seeing this picture! Ha! He's such a goof! He thinks the boppy pillow is the "daddy headrest". What a dork!
Sweet girls! So good to see their beautiful faces!
The hostesses and I! Katie, Annette, Judy and Stacy! Thank you...You are a blessing!
My mom and I! She is my best friend. Isn't it cute how we matched without planning it??
The cake was soooo cute and super yummy! 2 great cakes in 1 weekend! What more could you ask for :) Thanks Stacy!Luke and I with his family! It was great having everyone in town one last time before Madelyn gets here! See you soon guys...Do you think if I call my husband the diaper champ he will be more inclined to change the diapers?? Or is that wishful thinking??

Even with the 2 outings this weekend, I feel great. A little sleepy, but great! Madelyn reassures me that she is doing great by wiggling around non-stop...especially at 1 am. Just the usual non intense contractions that I have been having before! No bleeding still! We are doing great! I cannot wait to see her on the ultrasound on Wednesday! I know that she will look great! Until then...back to bed rest as it was before!

*Kathryn

Celebrate

Today has been such a fun day! Some sweet friends and family threw a shower to celebrate our upcoming arrival! It was a lot of fun and great to see friends! Here are some pictures from the day:The sweet hostesses and I! THANK YOU! The shower was great and the food was yummy! You girls are great! The adorable cake that my sister-in-law made! She is so talented and it was oh so delicious (to be perfectly honest I have been thinking of sneaking in to the kitchen to get a bite of the leftovers-that's allowed because I am prego right?) How's that for a hair bow? The cute shirt my sister sent all the way from South Africa. This little girl is going to have fans all over the place :) She had packages delivered from Oklahoma (thanks Grandma), Houston and South Africa! My boss for the day (actually one of many bosses...)! The minute I walked in the door she ordered me to sit down in the recliner. She was the best little helper though! My mother-in-law and friends! They worked at the Child Development Center together so it was fun to watch them get excited to be in each other's company and catch up! My mom with her girls...soon there will be 3 little princesses for her to hold! I love this girl! Mom & Alli

All in all it was an amazing day! Tomorrow I get to get out AGAIN! 2 days in a row (with doctor's permission!!)! I can't wait to see more good friends!

*Kathryn

sleepy...

So I am pretty much exhausted and it is only 8:20pm. Luke's family is coming in to spend the weekend with us-so I need to rest up before all the fun begins! Some have already made it but his parents will be in later tonight! At the doctor's appointment yesterday I was cleared to go to my baby shower this weekend. I cannot wait!

1. I am excited to put on real clothes and leave the house!
2. I get to hang out with my awesome family and great friends!
3. Madelyn will get lots of goodies!

Did I mention that I am sleepy??

Excuse my ridiculously attractive outfit BUT look at all these bows... Ok...I am beyond sleepy now. I hope your day was awesome and your weekend will be even better!

*Kathryn

mego prego

Just call me mego-prego! That's pretty much how I feel at this very moment! For the first time tonight I feel like all the sudden my belly is getting really big...the good news is...growing belly = growing baby!At our doctor's appointment today we found out that I am measuring at 34 weeks (I am just over 33 weeks right now) so the doctor was pretty excited about that! She said it's better to be measuring ahead considering we will be delivering early rather than measuring behind! Speaking of delivering early...we have a tentative delivery date. September 24th. Hopefully my niece Emily won't mind sharing her special day...

Everything else checked out great on the baby front. Her heart rate was beautiful. My contractions were the same. Bed rest it is for now...I am however really excited about a weekend with family and friends!

Oh and next week we will get to see our little babe! We are going to have an ultrasound in order to do a growth scan and some other test that I can't remember what it is called (imagine that? I can't remember anything these days). I am excited to see how big she is and see her sweet face. Hopefully we will be able to get a picture to share!

I am not sure whether some of you are news junkies like me, but I check the news the minute I wake up and just before I go to bed and about 20 times in between. It's normally all terrible. Although this one started out that way, I woke up this morning to an amazing story of a young woman who was kidnapped 18 years ago when she was just 11 found alive and reunited with her family! I have never heard of this girl before today. I didn't even know she was missing. But her story (especially since she is not much older than I am) of being found and reunited excited me in a very real and personal way! I cannot imagine the nightmare she has been through these last 18 years...but what an awesome ending...you should check it out here.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how crazy it is that Madelyn has already turned upside down to get ready for delivery...upside down for 7 weeks?? Only 4 for our sweet girl...but it would be 7 if she was going to be delivered full term!

More on that tomorrow...I am sleepy and will more than likely just begin to ramble...

*Kathryn

hiccups and such...

Right now, at this very moment, Madelyn has the hiccups. She has the hiccups all the time. Every time she hiccups, my belly button pops out. This is mildly disturbing but equally entertaining. Who knew the highlight of your night could possibly be staring at your enlarged belly button poking in and out??

Today has gone by so fast. I looked up this afternoon and the clock said 4:30pm...I couldn't believe it! It didn't go by fast because I was busy cleaning house and preparing for Madelyn's arrival (considering these tasks are impossible to do from my bed or recliner without anyone to boss around). It didn't go by fast because Luke was here to hang out with me. Not even because I had visitors who stopped by. As a matter of fact none of that happened today. I don't even have a good reason as to why it went by so fast, but I am very thankful that it did!It was completely uneventful around the Bilberry house today, and that is Ok with me!

I received a package in the mail from my Mother-in-Law yesterday! I love packages! It's amazing how much more fun it is to get mail from people who care about you mixed in with all that mail from people who think you need to pay for silly little things like your electricity and water. :) She sent me a movie to help pass the time. I can't wait to watch it (I have no idea why I didn't do that today?? But there is always tomorrow I suppose).
If you are totally bored with bows this is where you need to click on something more entertaining (although I have a hard time believing there is anything more entertaining than the last picture on this post), because that is about the only thing going on in my world right now! I know that I posted a picture of this outfit yesterday...but not with a proud guitar loving Daddy holding it...
It is so amazing to me how cheap it is to make your own bows and how quickly you can whip out 36 of them! Madelyn has a growing collection...now all I need to do is make her one of those cute bow holders to go in her room!Her Daddy was so sweet and tested out the alligator clips for me...I am still laughing. I really don't have words for this, other than I hope she does not have facial hair like her handsome daddy. Hahaha...

I am super excited about getting out of the house tomorrow even if it is to go to the doctor! I cannot wait to hear her little heart beat and get an update. I am confident that there won't be much news which is exactly what we want!

Oh...and you should check out my sister-in-laws blog. She posted a recipe of a yummy casserole that she made for us. It's soooo tasty!

*Kathryn

Tuesday

A little while back I stumbled upon info about a Hillsong United concert in Frisco and checked to see if there were any tickets left. There were 2! I was excited and decided I would surprise Lukey with the tickets. It would be our last pre-baby concert/Dallas getaway. Plans changed obviously...and I am not sure it would have been the smartest choice for little Madelyn's hearing anyways...but after much reassurance from me that I would survive 1 night without him, Luke decided that he would go with a friend. So tonight, they are worshiping with 6,000 other people in Frisco, Texas. I would be lying if I didn't say that I am just a bit jealous, but I am SO glad that he decided to go! This is one of our favorite songs (although there are many more that are just as awesome):

The first time I heard this song, I was sitting on the side of a mountain in Mexico in the summer of 2007. Luke had put together a play list on my ipod for that trip. It was pretty powerful looking out over His creation and hearing the words to that song!

Of course Luke didn't have anything to worry about leaving me alone tonight...my mom wasn't going to let me hang out by myself all night! Although bed rest would not be something I would choose, I have gotten some great hang out time in with my mom! Thanks mom!

I tried my hand at bow making again today. I have a few that I made to match specific outfits that I have to share:
This is one of my favorites! We bought this onesie when I was sure we were having a boy. Dressed up with a cute bow...who would ever know the difference??
I can't wait to take pictures of Madelyn in all these little outfits! I have a feeling I am going to be one of those obnoxious parents with my camera in hand at all times. And that excites me!

I am thankful that we have made it to 33 weeks and that bed rest seems to be doing the trick. My prayer daily is that she continues to grow and get stronger so that she will be ready in just 4 short weeks when we get to see her! Sometimes it is so hard to sit in silence and not let your mind wander to all the things that could happen. I am thankful that God goes before us and knows what will happen. I have my weekly doctor's appointment on Thursday so hopefully we will know a little more about what day I am going to deliver. She told me last week that she would not let me go past 37 weeks but wants to get over the 36 week mark. That means it could be anywhere from September 16 to the 23rd. We shall see...

Today was such a good day on bed rest. I could feel our little one rolling around inside. I could see a body part move from one side of my stomach to the other and back again. I didn't feel any big contractions at all. I slept. I slept some more. And I am about to sleep again.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement! It means so much!

*Kathryn

amazazing...no that isn't a typo

Today has been marvelous with the exception of a horrible dream that I had last night!
I woke up this morning after an amazing nights sleep (more on that later) in a panic. I was dreaming that they closed Chick-fil-A forever. Forever is a long time. I love Chick-fil-A. Forever would be a really long time not to be able to enjoy that yummy goodness. I quickly realized it was only a dream-what a relief-and was able to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep.

This morning I packed-stuffed to the gills-a few things in Madelyn's diaper bag to take to the hospital. I cannot believe how tiny her diapers are! I also packed a few outfits, including the one I am pretty sure I want to bring her home in.
The day we found out we were having a girl, my mom, sister and I headed straight to Target! My mom bought this cute headband and shoes that match the dress that I picked out perfectly! Pretty in pink she will be!

My sweet friend Windy surprised me and stopped by today! I have not seen her in so long so it was great to catch up and have someone to talk to. It was a bright spot in my day for sure and I am thankful that she took the time to rescue me from boredom for a little while!

My mom solidified that my Chick-fil-A dream was nothing more than a terrible nightmare by bringing me a yummy grilled chicken sandwich for lunch! Mmmm....so good! She also brought me a new project!Madelyn is bowless no more!!! She put together a "bow making kit" for me and I had SO much fun! Today was my first attempt so don't look too closely...


What do you think?? It was a blast and I cannot wait to make more tomorrow! My husband is always telling me that you can find anything on YouTube. "You want to know how to do something? Search YouTube." He is smarter than I give him credit for. (Warning: this is incredibly boring unless you are looking to make some bows!)



I didn't have any big contractions today which was definitely a positive. I did however have a little girl who was doing aerobics. She somehow managed to punch my ribs while jumping on my bladder at the same time. That girl's got talent or she's one big baby!

I know that you are on the edge of your chairs anxious to hear whether the Snoogle lived up to the high expectations that this prego girl had for it...right?? Ok, ok, I know you don't really care but I am going tell you anyway: It is amazazing (which fyi is a word according to the urbandictionary.com)! I think that this will be something that I use loooong after my prego days are over!

*Kathryn

Oh Snoogle

Oh Snoogle...where have you been all my life?? Or at least the last 8 months??

Now I know that some of you are laughing...but you obviously have not tried the Snoogle (or sleeping with a bowling ball under your shirt)! Sleeping has become the most difficult task over the course of the last few months, but I have high hopes that the Snoogle will do the trick tonight. The Snoogle and I already became acquainted with one another this afternoon for a nice afternoon nap...and it was a GLORIOUS time.

**I think it's pretty obvious why I did not include a picture of myself with my Snoogle**

I have not felt ANY contractions today large or small. I am getting so excited about seeing our little girl face to face! I can't wait to see if she has hair...how big she will be...who she will look like and on and on!

I have a dress that I think I want to bring Maddie home from the hospital in. I may share it with you all tomorrow!

Until then...my Snoogle and I are headed to get some rest!!

*Kathryn

a new day

I am so thankful to wake up each morning to a new day! Yesterday wasn't bad. It just doesn't stick out in my mind as a great one.

Since my feelings about yesterday were less than peachy I decided I would reflect bullet style on the good things that took place:

• My hubby was able to stay home & hang out with me for most of the day.
• He cleaned out my closet and neatly organized all my shoes, purses, and clothes! My closet is a source of great anxiety for me, yet I continue to let it get out of control--so this was much needed and for that I am thankful!
  
• I sorted through all the 0-9 months hand me down clothes from my nieces and organized them in to baskets by age to put in Madelyn's closet! Thank goodness for hand-me-downs!!
• My eyes did not become sprinklers at all yesterday...woo-hoo! This is rare lately (even though the tears are usually over absolutely nothing but are completely uncontrollable.)
• Mom brought me some essentials that we will need for our hospital bag! I am still somewhat clueless as what all to pack, but thanks to some facebook friends I have a better idea now!
  

Wheh! Yesterday is painted a little differently now in my mind! It's amazing what taking the time to really think about and appreciate the things that we are grateful for will do to our attitudes. Gratitude is a powerful thing!

On the baby front: I did have contractions that were more intense than they have ever been yesterday evening and into the night. About 3am I had a couple of those "take your breath away" kind of contractions that the doctor had told me about. The good news is...they weren't happening consistently and there were only 2 of them!!

I have been thinking a lot in the last 24 hours about what we need to do to be ready for our sweet girl when she comes. Is it terrible that despite the fact that I have a rather lengthy list of things to buy and things to do, that the one thing that I keep dwelling on in my mind is that I have not bought her even one single bow??? Isn't this essential?? I guess I am going to have to find a good online bow retailer and get busy with my online shopping skills! Any suggestions? I do have a few headbands that you clip bows on to--but where do you actually get the bows that clip on to those the right way without hurting their heads? I need a bow lesson...and I need it fast. Help me!

My hubby just left for church an hour ago. He has such a passion and desire for students and families to know Jesus in an intimate way. I love the way he loves God. And I love the way he loves people. I can't wait to witness his love for our little girl! I have already seen his love for his unborn child, but I can't imagine how much greater it will be when he holds her in his arms for the first time. What a precious moment that will be!

This verse out of Lamentations 3:22-23 has been on my mind this morning:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

I am so thankful for a new day. I am thankful for new mercies. I can't wait to see what today will bring!

*Kathryn

I couldn't resist...

Goodnight!

*Kathryn

See you in September

Well there will be no pony for our little princess...but shhh...don't tell her that! Some of you may remember the deal I made with Madelyn- If you stay put until 38 weeks, when you turn 8 years old Mommy will buy you a pony. No, we have not gone in to labor yet (praise the Lord!) but we did go in for our weekly doctor's appointment and NST.
Her heartbeat was beautiful as always! My contractions had not changed much since last week even though I have been lying to myself apparently all week that they were calming down. They were pretty steady at 7 minutes apart. The doctor said not to really focus on the frequency of the contractions, rather the intensity. Considering I did not even know that some of these were happening when they were I am not worried about them near as much as I was the week before.
All the small peaks on the left are sweet Madelyn's heart rate. All the small (and not so small) peaks on the right are my contractions. Considering the first time I had an NST this line was completely flat with the exception of when I would sneeze it freaked me out the first time I saw this last week. Today...it was just the new norm. So what does all of this have to do with Madelyn being robbed of the dream of owning a pony when she celebrates her 8th year of life?? Due to all of the complications and consistent bleeding due to a tear, my doctor has given us a few milestones that we want to shoot for. The next milestone is making it until 34 weeks. By this point she said they would not try to stop me from going in to labor if it happened on it's own. The second milestone is 36 weeks. At 36 weeks little Madelyn's lungs would most likely be fully developed and ready for screaming-I mean breathing! 36 weeks is the big time goal! If I make it that long she will not let me go past 37 weeks. At this point Madelyn should be very well developed and the risk of complications due to bleeding increases daily from there so it is not worth the risk to wait any longer than that. That means our little October baby will be a September baby after all! I am secretly very sad that she won't be an October baby-not for some vain reason like she has the cutest little outfit that I wanted her to wear...I am not so superficial that I would actually base my feelings towards my daughters birth month on something like an outfit :)

I can't believe that she will be here in 4 1/2 weeks at the LATEST!! I am praying that is the earliest she comes...but did I mention that it's also the latest?? I think she just wanted to join the rest of our family for the end of the month September Birthday Bash!
Here is the Birthday Bash lineup:
16-Lukey
17-Mom
18-Allison youngest niece
19-Beth cousin
24-Emily oldest niece
26-Rhonda nieces Nana
29-Luke's dad

Insert Madelyn somewhere around the 21st!

I almost forgot to mention some more EXCITING news!!! The doctor told us that it was OK for me to get out to walk around for 30 minutes occasionally! Target...oh how I have missed you! I am overjoyed that she is still looking great! Thank you for praying for us and please continue to do so. The doctor said the next 10 days are the most critical until we reach that 34 week mark! So horizontal I shall stay for now...

*Kathryn

indeed

"Happy Thursday Honey"
I pretty much have the most amazing husband and not just because he brought me flowers (although it does help). He has been my best friend for over 6 years. He knows me better than I know myself despite the fact that I would never admit that to him! He loves the Lord and loves me. I am confident of this and so very thankful!

"Aunt Kathryn, we brought you some ice cream!"
Marlo and Emily came by this evening and hung out with me in bed! She gave me hugs, lectured me about staying in bed, rubbed my back...put her hands on my belly to feel her cousin move...
helped her mom put away my dishes...
and of course played with her Uncle Luke!

Just what I needed. Just when I needed it. Happy Thursday indeed!

*Kathryn