He holds my world in His hands

Today has not been one of my finest (I am just going to be really honest with you here). As a matter of fact the last 24 hours have not been my finest. Despite my most sincere efforts to smile, I have found myself in tears. My attempts to be upbeat and positive have been a complete failure. I have found myself in a funk of self loathing and an overwhelming desire to just get up and do something. Anything. My perfection seeking, controlling nature is getting the best of me as I lay here thinking of all the things that need to be done or that I would rather be doing. Although I know how absolutely selfish I sound right now and how you are probably thinking of moving on to reading something else, I am going somewhere with this (better yet...I am trying to go somewhere with this).

In my heart I know I have nothing at all to feel sorry for myself about. I have a perfectly healthy baby growing inside of me who just happens to want to join us a little sooner than the doctor would like. I have a husband who loves me despite the fact that my eyes have turned into spontaneously erupting sprinklers the past 2 days. I have the most supportive family. I mean who could ask for more than home cooked meals from your sister-in-law, prayers and support from a sister who is half a world away in South Africa, and a mom who stops by with something to cheer me up every single day??

But in the last hour I have been reminded that more than all of that, I have a Father who is completely in control. He holds my world in His hands.

My sweet husband just emailed me a video he found on YouTube of Kari Jobe singing the song "Healer". I have listened to Kari sing this song over and over and over again...but I have never heard her accompanied by Gracyn DenBestin. The video of the two singing together is enough to give you goose bumps. The video of them singing and knowing just a smidge about Gracyn's story is enough to bring you to tears.

Just 4 months after receiving a heart transplant (after leading a perfectly healthy life until just a few months before) 10 year old Gracyn stood on that stage and proclaimed to her Savior:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

This was just a bit of a reality check for me. A reality check that I needed. Not that we don't sometimes have these "funks", but I have to remember that He holds my world in His hands.

*Kathryn