Monday, December 7, 2009


Last night was R.O.U.G.H. Our poor girl was hurting so bad. Yesterday I put her to nap flat on her back. Although I would like to think that her constant stirring and only 3 hours of sleep last night had nothing to do with the nap, I am not totally convinced. She started spitting up quite a bit (WAY more than normal and with every feeding) starting with the first feeding after the nap where she slept flat. Bummer. Reflux is no fun. The only way to really know if this was the cause is to try it again. After a night/day like this...I am not sure I am willing to try any time soon. It's the worst feeling to have a baby that is hurting and you cannot fix it. Look at those sad eyes...
Thankfully this afternoon she had a few really good hours and we managed a few smiles despite the rough day.I have never been so happy to see her smile. I needed that. I am praying that tonight is much better for our little one. That it's filled with rest and is pain free.

Right now she is resting in my arms. I am thankful for her. Sometimes I find myself just watching her chest rise and fall on top of mine. I think all that we have been through has made me realize how precious each breath is. Each one is a gift.

I was telling Madelyn this afternoon about Christmas. Why we celebrate. What the Bible tells us about the birth of Jesus. As I was telling her about how Jesus' mother and father could find no place to stay that night, my voice started to quiver. I have always treasured Luke's (Luke as in the disciple-not my awesome hubby) account of the birth of Jesus. Each Christmas Eve my family reads the story together. Usually my dad does the reading and for as long as I can remember, I have gotten goosebumps each time it's read. It has always been powerful to me. As I was telling the story to Madelyn today...looking down at that precious little face...remembering how it felt the night before she was born...the tug of war of emotions going back and forth between fear and excitement...for the first time in my life I could relate to this story in a way I never have been able to before. I could put myself in Mary's shoes. No, our stories are by no means the same. But, I could relate...mother to mother. Just as I have each Christmas Eve for as long as I can remember as Dad reads from Luke chapter two, my arms and legs were covered in goosebumps as I retold the story to Madelyn. Remembering how I felt the first time I got a glimpse of Madelyn's sweet face...wondering if Mary felt the same way. It makes me think of the song Mary Did You Know? I can't imagine her fear, excitement, anticipation of the things she had been told. Could she have known what was to come? Have you heard this song? If it is being sung by David Archuleta...

Sorry the video quality is so terrible, but the song is just as powerful.

I forgot to "publish" yesterday's blog until just now. Check it out below.


  1. Kathryn,
    I'm sure you've listened to Amy Grant's "Breath of Heaven" before, but it's a favorite of mine and especially my mom. It's so beautiful

    I can't figure out how to paste a link to youtube, but it's definitely on there!!! :)

    Love, Beth

  2. As always - your words are always ever so beautiful!! Thank you for sharing!!


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