a new day

"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." -Mom (my mom, your mom, the kid down the street's mom-it's just one of those things mom's say)

I knew I could not sit down for my daily dose of blogging until I got over the major pity party I was throwing for myself yesterday. I stayed in my pajamas all day (I did shower-but quickly returned to my pjs). Cried if you talked to me. Let terrible thoughts of "what ifs" and "should have dones" make their home in my head. I didn't really think that I felt sorry for myself, but I guess I really did. Mad even, that my precious baby girl continues to have these moments where she cannot breath. Moments that are scary and that we have no control over. Moments that make my heart sink and knock the breath right out of. I felt sorry for myself that I had to feel my baby limp in my arms and watch her, waiting for her color to return. I don't think those things are anything that anyone should have to witness, but they also aren't anything to dwell on either. I needed to let it go. Take care of my girl. Do my best to prevent another incident like that one and just move on.

I wish I could say that I handled it with grace. Sigh. I didn't.

Today is a new day.

Last night Madelyn's alarm sounded a couple of times but nothing to the extent of the night before. Her reflux is definitely progressively getting worse, but we will just take it in stride.

I didn't take very many pictures yesterday. Only 2 to be exact. Gasp. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and my baby girl, remember?? I did get this precious shot of Madelyn being read to by her MeeMaw Fee...She LOVES being read to...especially Dr. Seuss books.

She also loves her little floor gym. Notice her monitor off to the side. We are keeping her plugged in 24/7 for now. I know the doctor will probably say that is unnecessary, at which point I will ask him if he has ever held his limp child :) Just kidding...but actually I have already played the conversation out in my head. She has a fantastic pediatrician whom we love, but I know he doesn't like us to be so dependent on the monitor because it can be a pain. We are OK with the "pain" for now!

That wraps up the pictures from yesterday. I had some making up to do today (or at least you would think that I did considering I have already snapped a considerable number of pictures and it's barely past noon.

I was trying to take a picture of Madelyn playing and just happened to catch this one of her little face through one of the rings...

She is so full of energy in the mornings and will usually play for a couple of hours. I call this her "fake smile". She has been doing it a lot when I get the camera out...

Madelyn has started to discover her hands this week. It's so funny to watch. She just holds them out in front of them and examines them...

then watches them closely when she opens and closes them...and giggles in delight (I'm assuming) as she realizes that she made them do that.

It's pretty hysterical!

Every time I have tried to get a good video of her laughing, she stops. So this morning I propped the camera up to the side (that's why it's not a good angle and a little fuzzy), but I really wanted you to hear her sweet laugh. It is SO fun to hear her laugh and I would do just about anything to make her do it.

I think we may have discovered the secret to successful tummy time. By successful, I mean tummy time that lasts longer than 30 seconds before I have a screamer on my hands. Behold...tummy time meets TV time. Haha. Don't tell the American Association of Pediatrics...this girl would even do tummy time if it meant she could lay in front of the TV.

She was down there for about 15 minutes. Granted 10 of the 15 minutes were spent staring at the TV, not exerting an ounce of energy. It's a start though, right? She better soak it up while she is in OKC, because she can't see our TV from her tummy (unless she rolls over of course)!


She is really trying to sit herself up all the time and does pretty good with the help of her boppy!Right now she is taking her second nap of the day. I am so glad she is such a good napper. It sure does make for one happy baby!It sure feels good to be back from my pity party. We are enjoying another day with family...waiting for my sister to arrive tonight via the train...and realizing that each day will hold it's own set of challenges, but we have the ability to handle those challenges with grace and confidence knowing that ultimately, we are not in control.