watch as her Grandparents and Aunts and Uncle dote on her and her cousins give her sweet kisses. There are so many things that I am looking forward to. Then there are those things that I am unsure about. Will the whole breastfeeding thing work out? Will I be able to overcome my fear of cotton balls (yes I said fear...they make me want to puke and just the mention of them makes me cringe...go ahead...make fun of me...it wouldn't be the first time). Will I know what to do when it's just us...at home...alone? I know this sounds silly and plenty of women manage to succeed at all of these things every day...but these are just a few of the things that keep creeping in to my head. Ha!So here I am. Anticipating September 24 in a way that I have only anticipated one other day my whole life, my wedding day. Although throughout my pregnancy (from the very moment I found out I was pregnant) I have been somewhat bombarded with unsolicited advice (some incredibly helpful...some not so much) I am now asking you for your advice!! If you are a mom, or plan to be a mom, or have witnessed something great from someone who is a mom (everyone has one right?)...let me know what you think this new mom needs to know before the big day. I am open to anything from what we need to take to the hospital all the way up to when we are home with our little bundle of joy! What helped you? What were the best things you did to prepare for bringing baby home? What do you wish someone had told you? I am open...lay it on me. My only request...please don't start off your bit of advice with "of course". I have had so many people tell me that, "of course I am sure you will breastfeed", or "of course I know you will want to use organic products and baby food", and my favorite (which I actually looked in to for about 15 minutes) "of course you will do what's best for baby and the environment and use cloth diapers". While I know that all of these things are great and have worked WONDERFULLY for many women, adding "of course" to the front is what has made me nervous that I may not be that great of a mom if I don't do it! So like I said...lay it on me! Please...tell me what you think. Leave a comment. Give me some good ol' advice!
*Kathryn
**To answer a question that a few have just asked...you don't have to be a blogger to leave a comment...just make sure to leave your name so I know who the helpful info is coming from**
On Advice: "OF COURSE you'll do what's best for YOU and the baby!!!" That means whatever YOU feel is best. Ignore everyone else who makes you feel inadequate :)
ReplyDeleteOn Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding is HARD WORK but it so rewarding and SO much cheaper than formula. Get the lactation consultant's # from the hospital and call her with problems. Seriously - they are the best help and truly want you to succeed at it. It gets SO much easier after the first few weeks. Just hang in there. Oh and get "Soothies" from walgreens (reusable cold gel-packs). They are a lifesaver. And don't take home any formula "samples" because they will look all too easy at 2am with a screaming baby. But if you give in it'll be that much harder to establish breastfeeding. And EAT EAT EAT! You need LOTS of calories while breastfeeding (trust me, you'll burn them off EVERY feeding...)
On Cotton Balls: I don't think I've ever used a cotton ball on Aiden. Ever. So your fears can be erased...
On Taking Pictures: Maybe make sure someone is there with you guys so THEY can capture the moment on film. I really wanted my delivery to be just Me and Matt (and my midwives) but honestly by the time I pushed him out I could have cared less who was there. And we don't have ANY pictures so that would have been nice. Let others take pictures I can promise you that taking pictures will be the LAST thing on your mind. Your precious baby will be first :)
Sorry that's a lot! I know you and Luke will make awesome parents so don't worry and just know every parent has moments of "oh my gosh, am I going to screw up my kid!!!" but it'll pass and God will get you through it!
with my first one i had a filling of emptyness...they called it baby blues..but i never had it with dax. it was right after she was born, while i was still in the hospital, it was a surreal feeling to have something in you for 9 motnhs then poof its gone.but in your arms.no one ever told me that my emotions were gonna be crazy after she was born. With dax i knew what to expect and could enjoy the first few days with out the emotional rollercoaster! just wanted to let you know that it helps to talk, especially to your spouse..they dont understand but they will now how you feel and be even more supportive! And with breastfeeding...dont get discouraged! im breastfeeding dax who is a wonderful feeder but emory was not..i ended up pumping for 5 months! if it isnt working stop breath and try again! it helps..lol
ReplyDeletethats my advice for ya, may not be much but i would have loved to known it!
-ashley coon
Unfortunately I have no experience to offer advice from, and at the moment I can not think of anything from friends or family that have had children. However, I find your "Of Course" comment hilarious because of a friend and new mother who recently blogged about the exact same thing. You will enjoy, please read: http://hidemyselfinthee.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-i-hate-words-of-course.html
ReplyDeleteJust RELAX you and Luke will be fine and it will all come natural...Brandon had held 1 baby maybe 5 times before we had Braleigh and he was a pro about an hour after she was born. You will know what is best for her and do what you want and what your heart tells you, although advice is good don't let someone talk you into or out of something you want or don't want to do. As someone posted earlier breastfeeding is a JOB and very time consuming...but it is at the same time WONDERFUL! I knew from the time I got pregnant that I wanted to nurse her and was so terrified that I wouldnt be able to. I was fortunate enough to be able to nurse Braleigh and I believe that is why we have a bond to this day that she and no other (not even daddy) have...and that is pretty special to me. I was not able to pump, but I nursed Braleigh until she was 18 months old...yes you read that correctly. It was GREAT! She would not take bottles (the bottles gagged her and she threw formula up). Well enough about that...the only other thing that I would recommend is sleep when she is...trust me you will need it...it will catch up with you. Just sit back and enjoy that Little Princess and take a bunch of pictures :) Me and Mom had a little photo shoot with Braleigh from birth to about 18 months old...every month. I enjoy going back and looking at how much she changed from month to month. Once again you and look are going to make Wonderful, Caring and Loving Parents...little Madelyn has nothing to worry about. Wishing you the best of luck.
ReplyDeleteHey girl... My advice is to always sleep when she does especially the first few weeks.. Yes there will be lots of things to do while she is sleeping but you will NEED your sleep!! As far as nursing.. You can do it.. I didnt realize it would hurt like it did.. I had LOTS of trouble with both of my kids.. I agree about having the lactation # with you.. They are wonderful there..
ReplyDeleteKathryn, no matter what anyone tells on here, God has been preparing you and Luke to be wonderful parents. Don't freak out, your mommy instinct will kick right in and you will magically know what to do. I know its hard to believe, but it just happens. God really prepares you. You and Luke are going to be WONDERFUL parents. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about not doing or doing something. You just do what is right for Madelyn, and you will know what that is, I promise! Love you both and can't wait to meet that beautiful baby!! =) Katie Skinner
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you! On top of all of this other good advice... I wish someone would have told me that the little mittens you buy for the baby DO NOT stay on! I learned this in the hospital with my first, Christian... we ended up having to put medical tape around the wrist part of them to keep them on! I absolutely recommend onesies with the built-in mittens. If you don't use mittens, your poor baby will scratch her face completely up (and cry every time she does it!)
ReplyDeleteCarla linked me to your blog and I loved reading it! Best advice anyone ever gave me: stock up on fiber rich foods and start taking stool softeners as soon as you can after you deliver. Wierd advice, but really.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have a friend who asked a nurse to take pictures for her in the delivery room, so that might be an option for catching Luke's expression. The pic of him when he first found out is darling ;)
Oh, and my friend Erin is also afraid of cotton balls--I thought she was the only one--for all the same reasons you listed! I only ever used cotton balls to wash Benjamin's face when he was a newborn and you could easily just use a baby washcloth. So I don't think you'll be forced to touch any;)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to keep your blog on my reading list because I think you might be a kindred spirit. We considered both Madolyn as a first name and Kate as a middle if we had a girl. I like your spelling, though:)
#1--Follow your instincts. No matter what any book says, no matter what any of your friends say...the truth is, the very best indicator for what's right for you & Madelyn is your gut. 99.9% of the time, it'll be the right thing to do. Trust yourself. You're a smart lady!
ReplyDelete#2--The whole breastfeeding thing...just like every other parenting/birth issue, go into it with loads of information & an open mind. I REALLY wanted to have totally natural births & I REALLY wanted to breastfeed my kids exclusively from birth til at least 1. I pretty much got entirely natural births, but my body doesn't cooperate w/ breastfeeding, so it never worked out for me. I was completely devastated the first time, but with the 2nd & 3rd, it was fine. I knew, by then, that it didn't work out & there were plenty of good alternatives. Sure b/f'ing is best, but there are loads of other choices if it doesn't work out. Bottom line--don't beat yourself up if you really set your mind on something & it doesn't work out the way you planned.