great expectations

"Our petition is that she'll grow up; our desire is that Her creator be glorified." I read these words this afternoon that a former student of Luke's (and amazing man of God himself) wrote and they have resounded over and over in my head. What amazing words. They have touched my heart. In the midst of a time when there are so many thoughts and words floating through my mind that I wish would go away, these words overpower them. I have learned to live these 2 scriptures that I have shared so many times before with others who are going through difficult times. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Luke reminds me often to take every thought captive. Madelyn's dad is the most amazing man of God I have ever met. She is so blessed to have him. To speak scripture over his baby girl and I when I know he is hurting inside just as much, shows me just how much he truly believes. He spent most of the day at her side...praying for her...calling her his pretty little lady...and telling her about all the great things they will do together.The other scripture that I have been leaning on today as I realize just how low my lows have the ability to go is 2 Corinthians 12: 9. It says, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Madelyn has had such a good day of rest. She is on minimal settings on her ventilator. It is set to 21% oxygen which is room air (what you and I breath all the time). It ensures she gets 24 breaths per minute if she forgets to breath or just takes a break. Right now I am watching her monitor closely and she is breathing over the machine a little and her oxygen saturation is at 100%. Our little girl is getting the rest that she has needed so badly with the help of the ventilator. The doctor did so many tests today. The good news so far...none of them show any major problems. In fact, all of her blood work has looked surprisingly good. They did an EEG this morning to monitor brain activity. Her neonatologist said it looked good as well as one of the other specialists at the hospital. It was hard to see her with all the little wires hooked up to her head, but I was comforted in the fact that it did not bother her one bit. It did not hurt and she was too busy sleeping to even notice it much.Once they were finished, her sweet nurse spent time cleaning the gunk out of her hair and even took the time to get her a cute little hat. She put a cute little flower clip on it and coordinated it with her sheet.When I walked in her room and saw this sweet little site, I could not hold back the tears. She was snuggled up so sweetly. I felt a peace knowing that she felt held...that someone cared enough to do the things for her, that at this time, I cannot do. The things I long to do for her. The little swaddler that is wrapped around her was made by Threads of Love. What a ministry they have. How blessed I have been by their efforts. It is so hard to see your child on a teeny hospital bed when you expect to see them in their bassinet...not to mention the cords and tubes...but this ministry allows you to see them in a way that is much easier. A way that brings some normalcy to this chaos.

Tomorrow the doctor thinks they will try to extubate Madelyn as long as she is still stable. They will be monitoring her very closely. We are praying that she will be able to sustain her breathing without the tube. We know she is a fighter. We know she can do it. We just have to see if the rest she has gotten, has been enough. If not, it may just take a little more time. Either way...she is doing well! We are cautiously optimistic...but know that it will happen!!!

Madelyn has had a day surrounded by so many that love her. Her Gigi and Papa stayed with her through wee hours of the morning and plan to do so again tonight. They are the night crew. Do you think they will volunteer for that shift when we head home?? HA! Her Grandma and Grandpa have loved on her throughout the day. Her proud Aunt Marlo and Uncle Jarrod have been such a solid support. They spent time talking with their first niece today. Madelyn was awake for part of the time they were in here and she was just looking up at them. I am pretty sure she made them melt with those big beautiful eyes. She is going to have so much fun playing with her cousins and having sleepovers...being spoiled by them all. Her Great Grandma can't wait to come on shift.

Thank you for the overwhelming love and support. Your kind words and continued prayers have touched our lives...allowed us to feel God's presence...sustained us in a way that only prayer can. We are grateful. We are waiting...expecting great things from our great God.

*Kathryn